I got chris browned last night
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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