Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
