Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
