bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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