Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
