I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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