it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
