Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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