I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I want you more than these girls want KFC
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
