cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
