I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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