Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Randomize
