Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
