Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
