Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
