it hurts more in the daytime
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
