haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
