Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
