dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Randomize
