Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
It's just like the Real World with babies
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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