you would pick up someone in the library
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
