STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
