I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
