So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Randomize
