Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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