I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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