What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I would ride that face into the sunset
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