Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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