Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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