Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Semen is not good for contacts.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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