Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
