So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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