I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
