So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
