what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
