Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
