pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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