So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
