the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
