whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
All I want is dick and wine.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
