im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
