This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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