I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
