Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
