put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize