Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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