You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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