I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize