I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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