So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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