I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
