Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
