Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize