i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
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