sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
