You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
