sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
