Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
BRING THE BAGELS
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize