So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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