question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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